Friday, January 20, 2012

Christmas With Food Allergies and the Ho Ho HOs

Yeah, I know, it's several weeks after Christmas, but I'm still fuming over the comments. You'd think after 16 years of dealing with food allergies I would be used to this, but I'm not.

For you newbies out there who still need a translation you go:

  • I don't know how you do this!
    Translation: I'm not going to do this.
  • It would drive me crazy to have to read every ingredient. 
    Translation: what I brought will probably kill your kid because I didn't read every ingredient.
  • Will he ever outgrow any of these food allergies?
    Translation: it's a pain in my ass to have to deal with this so I hope this isn't going to be forever!
  • I just read in/on the [insert paper or website] that they have a treatment for food allergies now. 
    Translation: This article I happened to glance at confirms that you could do something about them if you wanted to and you must want to keep him "allergic" for some reason. Hypochondriac.
  • So many kids seem to have allergies these days! We never had these kind of allergies when we were growing up.
    Translation: you're a helicopter parent and your kid's allergies are fake.
  • How's he going to get along in the real world?
    Translation: you're making your kid into a pansy.

Do you have others you've heard? Feel free to add them in the comments!


  1. Oh, poor thing! I'm sorry your mom won't let you have any candy...

    (Translation: Your mom's a controlling bitch)

  2. She can't possibly be allergic to [insert allergen]. I've never heard of anyone being allergic to that!
    Translation: You are full of crap until I see a reaction, and even then I won't believe it was from the allergen you named.


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